No, I don’t expect you to care, but…

Thinking about the essay I wrote my freshman year of college: “I find it necessary to write…” 
& I do. I do it in poems, in here (on here?). & my compulsion to blog feels like my compulsion to write poems. 
Narcissistic, self-absorbed blogs? Kind of love them. Love to see how people are made, or make [...]

What is the definition of apology, really?

Having trouble focusing. Keep trying to center my mind, bring myself back to the breath
but this morning’s emotions feel impossible. Disobeyed, slept in, feel envious 
of those who can deliberately form relationships rather than simply incidentally 
let them form, or let them form out of the other’s interest in my interests, introversion, navel-gazing. 
I can pretend this room [...]

acceptance before change, maybe?

Wonder if writing a letter to my eleven-year-old-self would help. Or talking to her in meditation. Her fears come out in crowds of people I half-know, the fear of being friendly for feeling I am automatically a burden on people or something, like I’m still a Bible-thumping spelling-bee winner who wants to tell them about [...]

Daffodils are common& I still love them.

Told myself I’d freewrite for 45 minutes today because after being so generous the visitation has been incredibly elusive& I’m feeling a lot right now, have been all day, mostly& I need a haircut, horribly, I don’t know if my hair has looked this bad since high school& dreadlocks are cultural appropriation, maybe– I don’t [...]

Hollis Frampton’s navel

“I” is the English familiar name by which an unspeakably intricate network of colloidal circuits– or, as some reason, the garrulous temporary inhabitant of that nexus– addresses itself; occasionally, etiquette permitting, it even calls itself that in public. It lies, comfortable but immobile, in a hemiellipsoidal chamber of tensile bone. How it came to be [...]