In the scope of my personal history, the past two years will probably be labelled as the time I was reckless as a way to cope with my father’s death. Not his physical death as much as the lifting of the parameters of myself created partly in response to what I thought he expected. At [...]
Entries from September 2009
September 26, 2009
epiphany
about to sit& meditate, it struck me that this has been the evening i needed
overwhelming relief! i know that no matter what happens, it’s what’s supposed to happen& i can craft my life to resonate with change, the ones i want, the ones as a result of another’s will, & the ones that i want [...]
September 26, 2009
abstract // autumn // change
why is it that so often introspection involves feeling the whole weight of yr life behind you? i’m certain this doesn’t only happen to me.
stayed home tonight. mopped the floors& made my way through the joni mitchell discography. my copy of for the roses is in impeccable condition.
i’m feeling so much right now& joni only [...]
September 23, 2009
Thinking Thesis
I believe that poems can be taxidermy of time yet unlike taxidermy they lead to increased understanding of unstuffed things– the sweetbreads of the instant.
This thesis is a record of its creation, of imagining life as antiheroine poet. It is the mythology of the speaker crafting her identity, understanding that its creation is a craft [...]
September 20, 2009
dreams& false alarms, part fifty-two.
Disclaimer: change of seasons introspection office admin job the issue of Body&Soul that was delivered to the wrong house by which I mean my house…
what i want to do: a life list brainstorm that may or may not have anything to do with reality.
I want to take a year [...]
September 18, 2009
how to market the poetic life
Love yr administrative assistant. She might be a master poet or photographer. She might be happy– the kind of happy that’s a struggle for you for one reason or a dozen…
I (we) (you) assume so much about others in order to build my(our)(your)self(ves) up. At least I do.
…depends on whose reality you want to win. [...]
September 18, 2009
strikethough // condescension
It’s okay, Megan, here– word it like it’s something you can hold onto.
(wrote. decided it was all apology, or justification. no one needs to see that, not even me.)
September 14, 2009
Today I feed my sorrows & call it dinner.
The best thing about living alone is that I can eat jam with my fingers, straight from the jar.
& on corn chips.
& think, gee, if I were to put this in a poem, I could compare it to cannibal’s blood. Still not sure why I’d want to do that, why that would make any sense [...]
September 12, 2009
Pasted on. Breast.
I don’t know what to write but I feel like writing. I started writing earlier today about the acceptance of melancholy, melancholy happiness– fully living within my emotions. Tonight I plunged into fear, diving-distance, could be resurfacing…
I don’t know how to feel about questions about what I want to do with my life, as if [...]
